My BIGGEST mistake

The BIGGEST mistake I’ve made so far in terms of fitness ( and still make) is trying to achieve results too quickly. Trying to rush…

I get it. Not feeling good in yourself. Sucks. Not feeling happy in the clothes you wear. Sucks. Not feeling good enough. Really sucks. I really do get it. I get that you want to get away from this feeling ASAP…I was the same.

But, I spent years trying the quick way. Just to regress each and every time. Years trying to rush the process. Years trying crazy routines and diet plans just to give up. Not because I was lazy but because the routine was just impossible to maintain.

All I had to do was chill out. Break the goal down and take consistent baby steps and I would have saved myself years of hassle. Years of not feeling so good about myself. Years of been a dick to other people because I was insecure. All I had to do was not rush.

Small simple daily consistent actions.

This is why i go on about long term results. This is why i advocate against ” fast results ‘ and crazy plans. Because I’ve been there and done that. And it doesn’t work. I’ve lived it. Lived it for years longer than I should have.

I know how that feels.

Stop rushing. Small daily simple consistent actions. The time will pass and the results will stick.

‘’The thing I struggle with most is my diet. Any little tips to stop snacking and eating sh*tty food? I’m too easily persuaded by people’’

‘’The thing I struggle with most is my diet. Any little tips to stop snacking and eating sh*tty food? I’m too easily persuaded by people’’
OK. So, this question has several parts that I’ll do my best to go through J

Firstly – ‘’ any little tips to stop snacking and eating shitty foods?’’

Environment matters most.

This is something I REALLY believe in and this is a great example of that. It’s important to start by looking at the ‘environment’ around your snacking habits.
Are you tired, stressed, irritated etc. If so, look at changing those first. If you’re stressed, look at ways to reduce the stress before you get home and to the kitchen.
It’s always important to look at what factors are causing the habit to take place and instead focus on the cause instead of the result.

Environmentally. We can look at the physical environment. In other words. Is your kitchen full of foods that you might consider to be ‘crap’ ‘junk ‘etc? You can’t or at least it’s a lot harder to snack if the foods arn’t there to snack on

The important thing. Or at least one important thing to remember, that most don’t seem to. Is the underlying cause of the snacking. Obviously there’s a physiological effect of consuming sugar on the brain. However, apart from that we can consider the different environmental and psychological factors. For e.g. growing up, you might have related sweet foods to comfort, reward, and self-worth. If you do something well you get a ‘treat’ so naturally your brain wires the act of consuming sweet foods with feelings of comfort, self worth etc. We can also during our younger years learn to associate food with love. Acceptance, care and connection. So, if the Brain feels a little low on ‘ Love ‘ (Oxytocin) It might find ways to create feelings of acceptance, care and connection (remember this for the second part of the question ) through snacking or various other habits

In other words. Don’t focus on the snacking, look at what the underlying cause is and address that.

In terms of habit. It might be a case that over time you’ve simply built a habit that when you get in from work,  you make tea and have biscuits with your tea. First, I’d ask how much the habit is actually getting in the way of the goal. If it HAS to go and you DESIRE it to go rather than simply believe that it’s a requirement then …

We can look at changing the habit. In this case, it’s important to realize that we can’t consciously chose a habit. Habits are formed in the Basal Ganglia and are formed subconsciously based on the feeling response the action produced. Think of all the things you enjoy, chocolate for e.g, You didn’t have to eat chocolate every day for 60 days to build the habit right?

The feeling response was great enough to produce an almost immediate habit

so, firstly, we have to find a replacement action and one that produces a pleasure response. Remember the pleasure response is REALLY important, we need that for the new habit to form

This could be a sweet but healthier alternative for e.g. (Social support also becomes important, remember if you’re snacking to achieve a feeling of comfort, care, connection and your partner. Family are sat there snacking away its going to create a lot of underlying stress , I’ll go through this inn more detail next )

Possibly the MOST important question to ask yourself is ‘ How ca I enjoy this more’ ? (ive written a blog on this here )

‘’ I’m too easily persuaded by people ‘’

Ok. So, firstly if you’re too easily persuaded this is a really big sign that either you’re not clear enough on the goal or that your desire to remain socially accepted is more important.

It’s important to remember that from a Brain point of view having Abs won’t keep you alive. BUT, having strong social connection will. So, your Brain will always prioritise the social aspect.

It comes down to judgement and fear of judgement. We all care what people think (Even those that say that they don’t) It’s inbuilt. We care about the opinions and thoughts of others because it tells us where we stand socially and ultimately how ‘safe’ we are moment to moment.

A GREAT way to think about this to imagine you’ve went back in time to the ‘Cavemen’ days (not sure what the scientific term is! ) So, you’re part of a tribe. Your survival depends on the tribe. If suddenly you start acting differently, the rest of the tribe becomes concerned by your behaviour and if suddenly they start to feel that you’re unpredictable, they’re either going to kill you or kick you out. Either way, you die.

Now, although we realize today that this wouldn’t happen or at east there’s a very small chance. Your Brain doesn’t. (great example of Evolution and natural design or lack of intelligent design. The Brain isn’t perfect)

So, it really becomes a matter of first getting REALLY clear on the goal, on why you want to do it and on why and how it will benefit your life long term.

Secondly, get really clear on WHY you’re doing it. What it says about you and your identity.

For eg. there’s a BIG difference between

‘’ I’m not eating meat because someone told me it’s healthier’’ (I’m not saying it is btw )

AND

‘’ I’m choosing not to eat meat because I love animals and life and I was raised around animals and so on and so forth’’ Get the idea ?

The WHY is important.

Thirdly. Create social support and acceptance by communicating with those around you. Make them feel safe (from a tribal view point) by telling them why you’re doing it, how it will benefit you and also how it will benefit them!

Your friends will spend less time trying to tempt you with ‘bad’ foods when they become 100% clear on why you’re doing it and when they trust that the action isn’t taking anything away from them.

E.g. Partner says ‘’ we used to always have a drink on Friday nights and now we can’t’’

This is a clear sign of threat and feelings that the connection care and acceptance in the relationship has being put under threat.

The solution. Communicate. ‘’ I understand that. However, this will help me feel more confident, healthy, attractive and I know that will benefit the relationship, plus we can still spend time together ‘’

Be CLEAR on who you are. WHAT you REALLY want and help those around you to see that also. Create certainty and things will fall into place.

Last note. Don’t freak out, the occasional biscuit or drink won’t really make any difference to your goals.  🙂

– Paul

PS if you want to learn more about this stuff ill be talking a lot more about it Here 🙂

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Q&A

BEST DIET FORQ ” What’s the best diet plan for weight loss?”


A ” One that puts you into a calorie deficit and that you can happily maintain long enough to see and maintain your results”


Q ” How many times per week should I train ?”


A ” as many times as your life and schedule realistically allows. What works best for YOU?”

Q ” What type of training should I do for weight loss ?”


A ” The type you enjoy most and can stay consistent with. Try everything and see what fits you best ”


Q ” Doesn’t cardio increase cortisol (stress) levels impeding fat loss?”


A ” Having someone tell you, you CANT do Cardio increases cortisol levels even more. So, enjoy your cardio if that’s what you like ”


Q ” Do I need to use protein powder ”


A ” No…it can help. But no ”

Q “Do I need to reduce Carbs to lose weight ?”


A ” No, as long as you’re in a calorie deficit you will lose weight. How you reduce your calories is up to you. You don’t have to reduce your carbs ”


Q ” if I use weights will I get too big ”


A ” No, gaining muscle is extremely hard for women, more so then men. So don’t worry about it. It will however give you a toned. Aesthetic appearance if combined with the right diet etc ”

Q ” Do I have to eat 6x per day ?”


A ” No, your body will deal with the food you consume in the same way regardless if you eat once or ten times per day ”


Q “Can I eat Carbs after 6″


A ” Yes ”


Q ” What if I don’t like eating breakfast ?”


A “Then don’t, just make sure your first meal is a good one ”


Q ” How much water should I be drinking ?”


A ” Enough to make your pee clear. ”


Q “Do I need to use supplements ?”


A “No, focus on getting your food 100% first. And then use supplements if you need to, to address any deficiencies ”


Q ” How do I get rid of muscle soreness ( DOMS) ?”


A ” Warm up and cool down properly, stretch and foam roll. Don’t kill yourself in the session. Eat plenty of protein. Move around, apply some heat. Stretch! You’ll be fine ”


BEST DIET FOR

Whats Really Stopping You ?

Ok, you might not know the ins and outs of Human anatomy and physiology. The intricate details of the CNS system, the Endocrine system and the Neuroscience behind training.

Maybe, you’re unaware of how your adrenal glands work, the effects of insulin on fat loss. How protein synthesis impacts Muscle development and all that stuff.

It’s true, there’s A LOT you don’t know.

BUT… you DO know that Water is good for you.

You do know that when it comes to weight loss. Cake, however nice it is. Probably isint the best choice.

You DO know to eat plenty of veg and real foods.

You DO know that exercise will benefit your health. In whatever form you decide to take it up.

You might not know everything (me neither) BUT you do know enough. You know enough to be a lot further on in this goal that you are currently.

So. My question is….

What’s REALLY stopping you ?

whats rreally stopping you

PLAY

 

Why is ‘ Enjoying The Process’ so important to me and central to the way I PT/Coach ?

I grew up with certain things going on in my head that as a 5-6 -12-16 year old that I didn’t ‘ Get’ for some reason. I just couldn’t do things that everyone else around me found so easy to do. I had the BEST childhood with everything I needed provided to me. However, I also had a Brain that liked to cause me a few issues. (And still does) this lead me to feel growing up that I had to somehow overcome ‘ That’ thing in my head…whatever ‘that’ was. It felt like I had to arrive somewhere. To become better and more than who I was right at that moment.

I was convinced that life was about overcoming, it was about perfection because without perfection you’re imperfect and if you’re not 1st you’re last… winning or loosing. This helped in some way because it made me hard working and competitive and allowed me to progress in my career. However, it’s an up hill battle you just can’t win. No matter how much you achieve you always have that feeling that you need to do more.

My life really changed when I realised that life wasint a journey from A-B it wasint so much about overcoming anything, in fact there was nothing to overcome. More so. Life, was about the stuff in the middle. Alan Watts explains this using Music as an example. We PLAY music and the music happens in between the beginning and the end. In just the same way I realised that life should be played. It should be fun. You’re trying to overcome, trying to get there by fast forwarding the track to get to the end.

There was nothing to overcome, nothing to rush and nothing to be better at.

I didint have to fix myself or better myself. I didint have to be more than myself. I just had to BE myself.

I could take the climb and the struggle and the grind and the pursuit of perfection less seriously

And the Fun, play, wonder, adventure ,love and excitement MORE seriously

enjoying the prcess

Stop Doing Shit You Hate

If you want to lose/gain weight
You have to eat more or less Calories than your body burns daily.
You have to do some form of physical activity.
You have to stay consistent until you see and maintain your results
Once you realise the simplicity of this it opens EVERYTHING up for you. .
This is the difference between. I MUST go to the gym and exercise in this way, regardless of how much I might despise doing it
To I can go to the gym OR i can swim, run, climb, surf, dance, play and do whatever the hell I want in order to burn calories and in order to stay active. Ass long as i actually do it.
I can find a way of staying in good health and physical shape that i love and in doing so ill guarantee my long term results.
Remember, you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. Rather than asking what works BEST for the result. ASK YOURSELF what works best for ME. What will I enjoy the most.
Do that.
Consistently.

Its your life. Stop filling it with shit you hate.

lsf wakefield

Don’t wait ….

Don’t Wait ….

Don’t wait until you get ‘ there’ before you allow yourself the permission to live life the way you most want to.

You’re waiting for that perfect summer body. Yet the people who truley matter will love you regardless

You’re waiting for that front cover physique. Yet the guy/ or girl that’s right for you won’t judge you based on how ‘ fit’ you are… if they do, I suggest you keep looking.

Your kids won’t be proud of you for waiting until you’re a size 10 before you put a swimming suit on. Instead they’ll be proud of you for showing them a true example of self worth which isint dependant on physical looks.

Don’t wait to play with your kids because you’re not yet’ fit enough’ they’ll appreciate the play time regardless of how many breaks you take…

Stop waiting until you’re ‘ there’ before you allow yourself to be happy and confident when you can experience these things right now ! Right this second.

Be happy, be confident, play with your kids, go swimming, walk on the beach, meet that perfect person. Experience life the way you most want to. Your body will catch up, don’t worry

Just stop waiting

– Paul

beach self

Fall in LOVE

Fall in LOVE with the process of becoming whatever and whoever you want to become

That’s the best piece of advice I can give right at this moment

Whatever your fitness/ health goals are. Fall in love with ‘ IT’ and with the process of becoming

Allow yourself to become obsessed and fully emerged within the journey

I can’t remember the last time I didint wake up or go to sleep not thinking about coaching and training people, not thinking about clients and how I can improve what I’m doing.

I’m truly in LOVE with this

And because of that, the time and financial investment needed to become GREAT at what I do, is easy.

Find out what makes YOU tick, find out what you need to fall in love with the process of achieving the goal and it will make the journey not just easier but faster and most importantly one that you’ll enjoy.

Paul

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Starting to see yourself in HD

Sometimes I find it hard to be around people.

Ill get anxious for no reason, my head will go blank and I can’t think of anything to say, then the awkwardness makes it worse

Sometimes this causes me to mumble and I’ll find it hard to get my words out clearly

Sometimes, mid conversation if the environment is too loud my brain shuts down and I’ll find it hard to keep track of my thoughts.

However,

Sometimes I’ll talk confidently in front of dozens of people without the need for notes and a presentation and I can talk for hours!

Sometimes I can talk with someone 121 for hours in deep meaningful conversation that just so happens to be pretty life changing for us both

Sometimes I can be the centre of attention and the life of the party, other times I need my own space

All because at the route I LOVE people and been around people, just I was born with a brain that can occasionally be a little over sensitive

It’s so easy to see yourself in a negative way. I can judge myself for occasionally finding social situations challenging and beat myself up for all those invites I’ll sometimes turn down and the first impressions I often felt I messed up!

Or I can pride myself on the strength taken to do those things in the first place. I can care for myself and take it easy on myself.

I can learn to see the parts of me that decided to show up regardless

And so can you.

Learn to pay attention to ALL of it. Not just the parts you think are bad but those moments you don’t get to see. We all have them.

Those little moments that go Unnoticed by you, because there’s no pictures, no one recoding those for you, no mirror to see yourSELF in

I’ve trained since I was 10 years old. I designed my first training plan at 6. I’ve invested thousands and read countless books, I’ve sat in bars and coffee shops even London nightclubs with the worlds leading fitness experts! And the more I learn, the more I realise that you don’t need to be more. You just need to simply learn to see yourself fully , every part of yourself

And then start to show up as yourself

Rather than the shitty low definition version you’ve decided to believe in

Increase the definition. Go HD and you’ll see what you’ve been missing out on. You’ll see that the person you want to be as a result of changing your physique is already there.

 

– Paul

PS to join in with the conversation more, go HERE 

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Failing Forwards.

I have this urge constantly to find my purpose. To find and do that one thing that I’m supposed to do… That I was called to do

Because of that, I’m willing to take risks others won’t take

(Like dropping from 3 university courses )

It allows me to experience the highs and lows most can’t experience

( like having to start from scratch over and over again !)

Like many of you, I wish I could ‘ give up’ when the stress and hardship got so bad that you felt there was no where to go!

When the second you wake up, you’re hit with immediate stress, anxiety, panic

I wished I could give up during those times … Settle for something easier … Just get a normal job… Just follow everyone else’s ideal plan

Unfortunately, I can’t. That ability to give up on my passion isint built into my mechanics…

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However with this comes something amazing
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With the stress the despair and depression , with the anxiety and panic. When you’re unable to give up… When you have no choice but to keep pushing forwards into the darkness regardless of how dark it gets, when you’re unable to turn back to the safety of the light behind you and instead you push forwards into the darkness

Eventually, you start to see specs of light…

And as each speck of light, lights up the darkness around you. You begin to see, discover and learn something incredible about yourself

With each step into the darkness you find yourself a step closer to understanding who YOU genuinely are

– What your purpose is.

-You find and learn from guides that others can’t access

-You learn to see things others can’t see…

-You have no idea how long this cave is, how long the darkness will last or how dark it will get

– This fear, turns to excitement

Known that in the end, you will come to the other end.

Unafraid, POWERFUL, confident like a beacon for others to draw inspiration and guidance from

Shining a light into the cave, for others to see behind you

Just like the specs of light that allowed you to find your way.

If you’re not like me …

If you’re happy to give up, happy to settle and be comfortable. Then no doubt this post will not connect with you.

I wish you all the best.

However, if this has connected with you. Then please reach out and connect with me!

My friends. Even in your complete utter failure you’re reaching levels others can’t even dream about

Even with your complete failure…

At least you have seen the inside of the cave and the lessons that lie within

Paul x

cave